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The given various pie charts illustrate the percentage of regular consumption of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar in dinner and snacks by na average person which could have side-effects if eaten too much. In an overview, it is obviously clear that dinner makes the largest consumption of additives, while snacks are rich in sugar. Other noticeable fact is that only a tinny amount is used in breakfast than lunch also. It can be clearly seen from the pie chart that in dinner sodium is almost half, saturated for is third and sugar is quarter in the meal that is 43% ,37% and 23% respectively. Whereas these three nutrients is contain in breakfast approximately 15%. Moving further, snacks are rich in sugar that is 42% while sodium and saturated fat is less in it that is 14% and 21%. In lunch these nutrients which are unhealthy are found less than average that is 29% sodium naa 26% saturated fat, In addition 19% sugar is added in lunch.

The given various pie charts illustrate the percentage of regular consumption of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar in dinner and snacks by na average person which could have side-effects if eaten too much. In an overview, it is obviously clear that dinner makes the largest consumption of additives, while snacks are rich in sugar. Other noticeable fact is that only a tinny amount is used in breakfast than lunch also. It can be clearly seen from the pie chart that in dinner sodium is almost half, saturated for is third and sugar is quarter in the meal that is 43%, 37% and 23% respectively. Whereas these three nutrients is contain in breakfast approximately 15%. Moving further, snacks are rich in sugar that is 42% while sodium and saturated fat is less in it that is 14% and 21%. In lunch these nutrients which are unhealthy are found less than average that is 29% sodium naa 26% saturated fat, In addition 19% sugar is added in lunch. 15o7A
The given various pie charts illustrate the percentage of regular consumption of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar in dinner and snacks by na average person which could have side-effects if eaten too much. In an overview, it is obviously clear that dinner makes the largest consumption of additives, while snacks are rich in sugar. Other noticeable fact is that only a tinny amount is used in breakfast than lunch also. It can be clearly seen from the pie chart that in dinner sodium is almost half, saturated for is third and sugar is quarter in the meal that is 43%, 37% and 23% respectively. Whereas these three nutrients is contain in breakfast approximately 15%. Moving further, snacks are rich in sugar that is 42% while sodium and saturated fat is less in it that is 14% and 21%. In lunch these nutrients which are unhealthy are found less than average that is 29% sodium naa 26% saturated fat, In addition 19% sugar is added in lunch.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
various pie charts illustrate the percentage of regular consumption of sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in dinner and snacks by
Possible spelling mistake found.
na
average person which could have
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
if eaten too much.

In an overview, it is
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that dinner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the largest consumption of additives, while snacks are rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. Other noticeable fact is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a tinny amount is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in breakfast than lunch
also
.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the pie chart that in dinner sodium is almost half,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
for is third and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is quarter in the meal
that is
43%, 37% and 23%
respectively
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
these three nutrients is
Consider using a past participle here: "contained".
contain
in breakfast approximately 15%.

Moving
further
, snacks are rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
that is
42% while sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is less in it
that is
14% and 21%. In lunch these nutrients which are unhealthy
are found
less than average
that is
29% sodium
Possible spelling mistake found.
naa
26%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
,
In addition
19%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in lunch.

IELTS academic The given various pie charts illustrate the percentage of regular consumption of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar in dinner and snacks by na average person which could have side-effects if eaten too much. In an overview, it is obviously clear that dinner makes the largest consumption of additives, while snacks are rich in sugar. Other noticeable fact is that only a tinny amount is used in breakfast than lunch also. It can be clearly seen from the pie chart that in dinner sodium is almost half, saturated for is third and sugar is quarter in the meal that is 43%, 37% and 23% respectively. Whereas these three nutrients is contain in breakfast approximately 15%. Moving further, snacks are rich in sugar that is 42% while sodium and saturated fat is less in it that is 14% and 21%. In lunch these nutrients which are unhealthy are found less than average that is 29% sodium naa 26% saturated fat, In addition 19% sugar is added in lunch.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The given various pie charts illustrate the percentage of regular consumption of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar in dinner and snacks by na average person which could have side-effects if eaten too much. In an overview, it is obviously clear that dinner makes the largest consumption of additives, while snacks are rich in sugar. Other noticeable fact is that only a tinny amount is used in breakfast than lunch also. It can be clearly seen from the pie chart that in dinner sodium is almost half, saturated for is third and sugar is quarter in the meal that is 43% ,37% and 23% respectively. Whereas these three nutrients is contain in breakfast approximately 15%. Moving further, snacks are rich in sugar that is 42% while sodium and saturated fat is less in it that is 14% and 21%. In lunch these nutrients which are unhealthy are found less than average that is 29% sodium naa 26% saturated fat, In addition 19% sugar is added in lunch.