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The given table illustrates the quantity of hours of leisure activities per year in Someland, classified into seven distinctive age groups

The given table illustrates the quantity of hours of leisure activities per year in Someland, classified into seven distinctive age groups O6rlG
The given table illustrates the quantity of hours of leisure activities per year in Someland, classified into seven distinctive age groups. As is revealed from the table, overall, it is obvious that while watching TV/videos is the most popular choice among residents in Someland, the amount of time using for going to the cinema and communicating with at least 4 people was the lowest, especially in people aged 40 to 59 and 50+, respectively. To be more specific, the quantity of hours teenagers spend watching tv/video is the highest figure shown on the table with 1, 200 hours, doubling that of people in their 50 in Someland. By contrast, teens just spend only 100 hours on cinema per year, equally the total figure of three age categories from 40 to 69 years old. Besides, netizens in Someland in their 20 use 150 hours for socializing with 4 or fewer people, twofold lower than the amount of time of people aged 30 to 39. On the other hand, residents between 13 to 29 years old spend 300 hours communicating with at least 4 persons annually, doubling the total figure of the five remaining age groups. Moreover, the amount of time of individual exercise in the aged 70+ group is 150 hours, 50 hours higher than that of people in their 20. Finally, as the age increases, the interest in group sport declines and netizens aged 60+ and 70+ do not exercise in groups anymore.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates the quantity of
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hours
of leisure activities per
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year
in
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Someland
, classified into seven distinctive
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age
groups.

As
is revealed
from the table,
overall
, it is obvious that while watching TV/videos is the most popular choice among residents in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
, the amount of time using for going to the cinema and communicating with at least 4
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people
was the lowest,
especially
in
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
40 to 59 and 50+,
respectively
.

To be more specific, the quantity of
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hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
spend watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
/video is the highest figure shown on the table with 1, 200
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hours
, doubling that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their 50 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
. By contrast, teens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
100
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hours
on cinema per
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year
,
equally
the total figure of three
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age
categories from 40 to 69 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Besides
, netizens in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
in their 20
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
150
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hours
for socializing with 4 or fewer
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people
, twofold lower than the amount of time of
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people
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aged
30 to 39.

On the other hand
, residents
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 13 and 29".
between 13 to 29
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
spend 300
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hours
communicating with at least 4 persons
annually
, doubling the total figure of the five remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Moreover
, the amount of time of individual exercise in the
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aged
70+
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group
is 150
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hours
, 50
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hours
higher than that of
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people
in their 20.
Finally
, as the
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age
increases, the interest in
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group
sport declines and netizens
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aged
60+ and 70+ do not exercise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
anymore.
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IELTS academic The given table illustrates the quantity of hours of leisure activities per year in Someland, classified into seven distinctive age groups

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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