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The given pie charts show household income in Malaysia and Japan

The given pie charts show household income in Malaysia and Japan 5o8Q
The given pie charts illustrate comporision of 5 kinds of household expenditures(housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services)in two different countries Japan and Malaysia. Overall in Malaysia when most of the income was spent on housing while in Japan it was the second of proportion of the chart. In contrast health care accounted for the least proportion in both of countries. The most of income was spent on housing in Malaysia because it was the biggest proportion of the pie chart and it made up 34 percent but in contrast in Japan only 22% of proportion the chart belonged to it. Other goods and services represented less than a third (28%) in Japan whereas in Malaysia 26% of proportion of the chart went on equivalent figure. Household expenditure also spent on food in Malaysia and Japan and it made up 27 and 24 percentage respectively. Transport was less proportion than others in both of countries. It consisted of 20%in Japan but in Malaysia equivalent figure made up one in ten. The least of proportion went on health care in Japan and Malaysia it represented 6 and 3 percentage respectively. WORDS 203
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie
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charts
illustrate
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comporision
of 5 kinds of household expenditures(housing, transport, food, health care and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services)in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
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Japan
and Malaysia.

Overall
in Malaysia when most of the income
was spent
on housing while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
it was the second of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
. In
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contrast
health care accounted for the least
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proportion
in both of countries.

The
Consider using "most income" or "most of the income".
most of income
was spent
on housing in Malaysia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was the biggest
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proportion
of the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
and it made up 34 percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in contrast
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
22% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
belonged to it. Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services represented less than a third (28%) in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
whereas in Malaysia 26% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
went on equivalent figure. Household expenditure
also
spent on food in Malaysia and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and it made up 27 and 24 percentage
respectively
. Transport was less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
than others in both of countries. It consisted of 20%in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Malaysia equivalent figure made up one in ten. The least of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
went on health care in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia it represented 6 and 3 percentage
respectively
.

WORDS 203
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IELTS academic The given pie charts show household income in Malaysia and Japan

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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