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the given pie charts apparently demonstrate information about pupils preferences in sports according to the surveys in the school years 2004-2005 and 2015-2016.

the given pie charts apparently demonstrate information about pupils preferences in sports according to the surveys in the school years 2004-2005 and 2015-2016. 2R8Bj
the given pie charts apparently demonstrate information about pupils preferences in sports according to the surveys in the school years 2004-2005 and 2015-2016. The provided table provides data on the total number of children at school during those years. The most prominent change that we can observe is football, which had turned into the most popular type of sport in the years 2015-2016, while tennis, the absolute favorite in 2004-2005, had significantly lost in popularity and become the third popular kind of sport. Another sport that experienced a decline was swimming, only 10% were into swimming in 2004-2004 and this number had shrunk twice by 2015. Om the other hand, baseball had acquired many new supporters showing 20% growth in 10 years. In contrast to all other kinds of sport, the popularity of rugby remained stable, accounting only for merely 5% in both periods According to the table, the overall number of children had grown from 73 thousand in 2004 to 91 thousand in 2014. Overall, children had significantly changed their sports of choice and almost abandoned the sports that used to be popular in the past.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts
apparently
demonstrate information about pupils preferences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
according to the surveys in the school years 2004-2005 and 2015-2016. The provided table provides data on the total number of children at school during those years.

The most prominent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that we can observe is football, which had turned into the most popular type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in the years 2015-2016, while tennis, the absolute favorite in 2004-2005, had
significantly
lost in popularity and become the third popular kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
that experienced a decline was swimming,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% were into swimming in 2004-2004 and this number had shrunk twice by 2015. Om the other hand, baseball had acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new supporters showing 20% growth in 10 years.
In contrast
to all other kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, the popularity of rugby remained stable, accounting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
merely
5% in both
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
periods


According to the table, the
overall
number of children had grown from 73 thousand in 2004 to 91 thousand in 2014.

Overall
, children had
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
of choice and almost abandoned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be popular in the past.
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IELTS academic the given pie charts apparently demonstrate information about pupils preferences in sports according to the surveys in the school years 2004-2005 and 2015-2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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