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participation in certain leisure activities by boys and girls

participation in certain leisure activities by boys and girls KlJPR
The chart illustrates the participation in certain free time activities of 5-14 year old boys and girls in Australia Overall boys attempted more in all activities than girls other than art and craft In watching TV and videos they both participated and equal percent of 100% which is the highest among all participation irrespective of the gender. In skating and bike riding boys participated 10% more than their counterparts to an average of 40% and 70% respectively whereas girls participation in electronic and computer games were less than 20% than the others. spending time on this is second highest by boys whereas girls participation was equal for bike riding and computer games which is the second highest. Both the genders were happily spending their free time equally in watching television but boys like to do art and craft only 40 percent where as girls spent around 55% in the same.
The chart illustrates the
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participation
in certain free time activities of 5-14 year
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old
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boys
and
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girls
in Australia

Overall
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boys
attempted more in all activities than
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girls
other than art and craft In watching TV and videos they both participated and equal percent of 100% which is the highest among all
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participation
irrespective of the gender.

In skating and bike riding
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boys
participated 10% more than their counterparts to an average of 40% and 70%
respectively
whereas
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girls
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participation
in electronic and computer games were less than 20% than the others.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spending
time on this is second highest by
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boys
whereas
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girls
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participation
was equal for bike riding and computer games which is the second highest.

Both the genders were
happily
spending their free time
equally
in watching television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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boys
like to do art and craft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
40 percent
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where as
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girls
spent around 55% in the same.
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IELTS academic participation in certain leisure activities by boys and girls

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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