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Follow fashion agree disagree

Follow fashion agree disagree MrY5e
Should a person always adhere to fashion? In my opinion, no, not always. Fashion is not always a good and pleasant phenomenon for our consciousness and worldview. It so happens that fashion dictates such rules that do not correspond to our taste at all, be it clothes, music or books. For example, shoes have become fashionable, but if a girl does not like to wear these shoes, then is she really obliged to wear them and suffer inconvenience? Of course not. Moreover, fashion sometimes requires a lot of money, but not all people have the opportunity to buy expensive branded items or services. And, also, there should be individuality in every person, and what kind of individuality can there be if all people follow fashion. The reason may not even be in fashion, but in money and costs, we all know that in order to adhere to fashion, you need to find out new trends every time and follow it, which requires spending money. I don’t see any necessity in buying expensive fashionable dresses which will be out of fashion in several months and you will look «wrong» wearing it. One more important thing that we lose trying to be in fashion is our comfort. Most clothes perfectly suit fashion shows and ideal model bodies but not the real life. Choosing extremely fashionable things you risk looking funny and dull. Anyway, the power of fashion industry is so strong that it’s difficult to struggle with the desire to be similar to people from magazine covers or billboards. In conclusion it is not necessary to always adhere to fashion, the main thing is to feel comfortable and confident and to be a unique person.
Should a person always adhere to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
? In my opinion, no, not
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fashion
is not always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and pleasant phenomenon for our consciousness and worldview. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happens that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
dictates such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that do not correspond to our taste at all, be it clothes, music or books.
For example
, shoes have become fashionable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if a girl does not like to wear these shoes, then is she
really
obliged to wear them and suffer inconvenience?
Of course
not.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive branded items or services. And,
also
, there should be individuality in every person, and what kind of individuality can there be if all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow fashion.

The reason may not even be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in money and costs, we all know that in order to adhere to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, you need to find out new trends every time and follow it, which requires spending money. I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any necessity in buying expensive fashionable dresses which will be out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
in several months and you will look «
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
» wearing it.

One more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing that we lose trying to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is our comfort. Most clothes
perfectly
suit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and ideal model bodies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the real life. Choosing
extremely
fashionable things you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
looking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
and dull. Anyway, the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strong that it’s difficult to struggle with the desire to be similar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from magazine covers or billboards.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, it".
conclusion it
is not necessary to always adhere to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, the main thing is to feel comfortable and confident and to be a unique person.
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IELTS academic Follow fashion agree disagree

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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