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The given maps illustrate alterations to Happy Valley Shopping Center from 1982 to 2012.

The given maps illustrate alterations to Happy Valley Shopping Center from 1982 to 2012. kWkQM
The given maps illustrate alterations to Happy Valley Shopping Center from 1982 to 2012. The general overview here is that there have been several changes, the most noticeable being the furniture retail and the parking lot. According to the first map, it is can be seen that in 1982, the shopping center building comprised of the entrance in the left side which link to the walkways. Next to the entrance, the lobby area was situated, with the coffee shop located in the left corner, the Toilets in the right corner opposite. There was an entertainment area in the center, with the sports store, electrics store and furniture store situated center right, the food store in the north side and a line of elevator to the south. The lake was located in the north-west of building and the were a number of three surrounding this shopping center. By 2012, the lake to the north-west have gone, being replanted by furniture retail and the walkways and some of three to the south-west were demolished to make way for parking lot. The food store is relocated to the right corner of the building and where the food store stood there is electronics store. the sports store was located next to electronics store, allowing the coffee shop disappear. However the entertainment area, the elevator, the toilets and the entrance remains unaffected, while the Robby area has gone.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
maps illustrate alterations to Happy Valley Shopping Center from 1982 to 2012. The general overview here is that there have been several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the most noticeable being the furniture retail and the parking lot.

According to the
first
map, it is can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 1982, the shopping center building comprised of the entrance in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side which link to the walkways.
Next
to the entrance, the lobby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was situated
, with the coffee shop located in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner, the Toilets in the right corner opposite. There was an entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in the center, with the sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, electrics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and furniture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
situated center right, the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
in the north side and a line of elevator to the south. The lake
was located
in the north-west of building and
Please check whether a word is missing between 'the' and 'were' or whether 'the' is the correct determiner.
the
were a number of three surrounding this shopping center.

By 2012, the lake to the north-west have gone,
being replanted
by furniture retail and the walkways and
Consider using "some three" or "some of the three".
some of three
to the south-west
were demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for parking lot. The food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
is relocated
to the right corner of the building and where the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
stood there is electronics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
was located
next
to electronics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, allowing the coffee shop disappear.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, the elevator, the toilets and the entrance remains unaffected, while the Robby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
has gone.
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IELTS academic The given maps illustrate alterations to Happy Valley Shopping Center from 1982 to 2012.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
233 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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