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The given line graph represents the typical temperature and The table shows total hours of sunshine in three various counties, which are London, New York, and London in one year period.

The given line graph represents the typical temperature and The table shows total hours of sunshine in three various counties, which are London, New York, and London in one year period. K030k
The given line graph represents the typical temperature and The table shows total hours of sunshine in three various counties, which are London, New York, and London in one year period. Overall, it seems to be that Sydney was the different temperature in the other counties and New York had the highest number of sunshine hours compare to other. To begin with, New York had the highest total of sunshine in the per years, which was 2, 535. Follow by, Sydney 2, 473 and London had the lowest total of sunshine, which are 1, 180 Moreover, It can be seen that London and Sydney had the similar temperature over the year. They were stared at around 10 degree after that, they were continues increased to around 25 degree at September and then they were significantly decreased to around 10 degree until the end of the period. On the other hand, Sydney was the various trend of the two counties. It was stared at 25 degree in January and then had the decreased tend over five month. After that significantly rose to 25 degree at the end of the year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph represents the typical temperature and The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
total hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sunshine
in three various counties, which are London, New York, and London in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period.
Overall
, it seems to be that Sydney was the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
temperature in the other counties and New York had the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sunshine
hours compare to other.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, New York had the highest total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sunshine
in the per years, which was 2, 535. Follow by, Sydney 2, 473 and London had the lowest total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sunshine
, which are 1, 180

Moreover
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that London and Sydney had the similar temperature over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. They
were stared
at around 10
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degree
after that, they were continues increased to around 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
September and
then they were
significantly
decreased to around 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

On the other hand
, Sydney was the various trend of the two counties. It
was stared
at 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in January and then had the decreased tend over five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that
significantly
rose to 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The given line graph represents the typical temperature and The table shows total hours of sunshine in three various counties, which are London, New York, and London in one year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The given line graph represents the typical temperature and The table shows total hours of sunshine in three various counties, which are London, New York, and London in one year period.