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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of population in four different nations, namely, USA, Korea, China and India over the course 50 years commencing 1970 with projections to 2030.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of population in four different nations, namely, USA, Korea, China and India over the course 50 years commencing 1970 with projections to 2030. BY6Pp
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of population in four different nations, namely, USA, Korea, China and India over the course 50 years commencing 1970 with projections to 2030. As transparent from the graph, There was an upward trend in population rate of all mentioned nations. It is noticeable that, the predicted figures totally rise over the remaining years. The population rate of USA and Korea is higher than that of the other countries. In 1970, 70% was recorded in urban population of USA, compared to 40% of the Korea’s. From that year to 2020, similarly, the percentage of urban population in USA and Korea underwent a gradual rise, with merely 90% and 87% respectively. The population rate of China and India was equal at the initial point, around 20% before staying unchanged in 10 years and 20 years respectively. The former remarkably inclined to 65%, similarly, the later saw an moderate growth to approximately 40%. In 2030, It is estimated that the proportion of population in USA and Korea is equal and reaches the peak of 90% while there is a marginal increase of 4% in the population rate of the others.
The
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given
line graph illustrates the proportion of
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population
in four
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different
nations,
namely
, USA, Korea, China and India over the course 50 years commencing 1970 with projections to 2030.

As transparent from the graph, There was an upward trend in
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population
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rate
of all mentioned nations. It is noticeable that, the predicted figures
totally
rise over the remaining years. The
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population
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rate
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
and Korea is higher than that of the other countries.

In 1970, 70%
was recorded
in urban
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population
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
, compared to 40% of the Korea’s. From that
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year
to 2020,
similarly
, the percentage of urban
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population
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Korea underwent a gradual rise, with
merely
90% and 87%
respectively
.

The
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population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of China and India was equal at the initial point, around 20%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
staying unchanged in 10 years and 20 years
respectively
. The former
remarkably
inclined to 65%,
similarly
, the
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later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
moderate growth to approximately 40%.

In 2030, It
is estimated
that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Korea is equal and reaches the peak of 90% while there is a marginal increase of 4% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of the others.
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IELTS academic The given line graph illustrates the proportion of population in four different nations, namely, USA, Korea, China and India over the course 50 years commencing 1970 with projections to 2030.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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