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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of citizens living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK and others cotinents from 1975 to 2011.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of citizens living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK and others cotinents from 1975 to 2011. NwG5q
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of citizens living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK and others cotinents from 1975 to 2011. Overview, both of Asia and others line have an upward trend more, whiletime citizens were born in the UK line has an completely downward trend. So, the total has upward and downward instead of a particular trend. In the first period, from 1976 to 1986, two lines of the UK and others decreased together. Concretely, the UK went slightly from around 13% down to 10%. About others line, it also decreased slightly from about 11% to about 7. 5%. In the next 5 years, the percentage of Australian who were born in others had started growing up from approximately 6% to 8%, but line of the UK continued to drop to exactly 5% in the last years, 2011. The proportion of citizens in the others maintained to rise to about 13% in 2006. After that, it fell to about 11% in 2011. About the Asia line, in 1975 to 2011, it only growed up significantly. From only 3% in 1975, it peaked to exactly 15% in 2011 the highest of all. Because three lines had upward and downward led to the total upward and downward too. In 1975, it dropped gradually from about 23% to about 21 % in 2002. Then, it significantly climbed to 25% in 2011.
The
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given
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line
graph illustrates the proportion of citizens living in Australia who
were born
in Asia, the UK
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and others
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cotinents
from 1975 to 2011.

Overview, both of Asia
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and others
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line
have an upward trend more,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whiletime
citizens
were born
in the UK
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line
has
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
completely
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downward
trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the total has upward and
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downward
instead
of a particular trend.

In the
first
period, from 1976 to 1986, two
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lines
of the UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
decreased together.
Concretely
, the UK went
slightly
from around 13% down to 10%. About others
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line
, it
also
decreased
slightly
from about 11% to about 7. 5%. In the
next
5 years, the percentage of Australian who
were born
in others had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
growing up from approximately 6% to 8%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
of the UK continued to drop to exactly 5% in the last years, 2011. The proportion of citizens in the others maintained to rise to about 13% in 2006. After that, it fell to about 11% in 2011.

About the Asia
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line
, in 1975 to 2011, it
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only
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "grew", the past tense form of the verb 'grow'?
growed
up
significantly
. From
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% in 1975, it peaked to exactly 15% in 2011 the highest of all.

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Because
three
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lines
had upward and
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downward
led to the total upward and
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downward
too. In 1975, it dropped
gradually
from about 23% to about 21 % in 2002. Then, it
significantly
climbed to 25% in 2011.
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IELTS academic The given line graph illustrates the proportion of citizens living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK and others cotinents from 1975 to 2011.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
234 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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