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The given line graph illustrates the number of foreign visitors who came to the United Kingdom for business, holiday and for meeting kith and kin, from 1989 to 2009.

The given line graph illustrates the number of foreign visitors who came to the United Kingdom for business, holiday and for meeting kith and kin, from 1989 to 2009. De7o
The given line graph illustrates the number of foreign visitors who came to the United Kingdom for business, holiday and for meeting kith and kin, from 1989 to 2009. It can be seen that tourists who came for holiday were more than those for the other given purposes for a major part of the given two decades. Overall, an upward trend can be seen in all the three reasons for visiting abroad. About 6. 5 million people travelled to the UK for holidays in 1989. This number rose rapidly and peaked at 9 million by 1997, but after that fell dramatically and reached 6. 5 million in 2004. After that the number of visitors picked up again and again reached a high of 9 million in 2009. Meanwhile, business and socializing trips to the UK showed almost similar trends, starting from 3. 5 million and 5 million respectively in 1989 and then rising moderately to reach 6 - 7 million in 2009. After that a fall in the number of visitors can be seen in both these cases. Throughout the given period, more people did business than those who visited their family and friends.
The
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given
line graph illustrates the
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number
of foreign visitors who came to the United Kingdom for business, holiday and for meeting kith and kin, from 1989 to 2009. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that tourists who came for holiday were more than those for the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
purposes for a major part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two decades.

Overall
, an upward trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in all the three reasons for visiting abroad.

About 6. 5
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelled to the UK for holidays in 1989. This
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number
rose
rapidly
and peaked at 9
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million
by 1997,
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but
after that fell
dramatically
and reached 6. 5
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million
in 2004. After that the
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number
of visitors picked up again and again reached a high of 9
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million
in 2009.

Meanwhile, business and socializing trips to the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
almost similar trends, starting from 3. 5
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million
and 5
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million
respectively
in 1989 and then rising
moderately
to reach
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
6 - 7
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million
in 2009.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that a fall in the
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number
of visitors can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in both these cases. Throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did business than those who visited their family and friends.
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IELTS academic The given line graph illustrates the number of foreign visitors who came to the United Kingdom for business, holiday and for meeting kith and kin, from 1989 to 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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