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The given graphs show the actions taken after half a year by graduated students from two different courses of two different graduation years.

The given graphs show the actions taken after half a year by graduated students from two different courses of two different graduation years. DrRm
The given graphs show the actions taken after half a year by graduated students from two different courses of two different graduation years. In general, the majority of all graduates got employed and this percentage of employees was slightly higher in engineering class. Diagrams display that the history graduates are more likely to take further studies when the engineering graduates prefer working or searching for a job. Five percent of history graduates took a time out when only two or three percent of engineering graduates took a break. If we compare the differences between first- and second-year graduates, first-year graduates prefer doing study more than the second group.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the actions taken after half a year by graduated students from two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
courses of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
graduation years.
In general
, the majority of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employed and this percentage of employees was
slightly
higher in engineering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Diagrams display that the history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are more likely to take
further
studies when the engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
prefer working or searching for a job. Five percent of history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
took a time out when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two or three percent of engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
took a break. If we compare the differences between
first
- and second-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
,
first
-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
prefer doing study more than the second group.

IELTS academic The given graphs show the actions taken after half a year by graduated students from two different courses of two different graduation years.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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