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The given graph illustrates the popularity of Australian children and the youngsters by the numbers and the percentages for a 80-year-period,starting from 1958.

The given graph illustrates the popularity of Australian children and the youngsters by the numbers and the percentages for a 80-year-period, starting from 1958. JV0QE
The given graph illustrates the popularity of Australian children and the youngsters by the numbers and the percentages for a 80-year-period, starting from 1958. Overall, there is a upward trend in percent chart, whereas millions chart recieved an opposite one. It is obvious that the numbers of children aged 0-14 years reached the highest point at 30% in the starting year, and turned to the million chart at the end of the period. The percentage of kids then decreased slightly before having a fluctuation from 2014 to the ending. On the other hand, the millions one hit a small peak at 4 after gradually increasing from 1958 to 1970. This was followed by a steadily growth and ended at under 5 millions in 2038. Furthermore, the youngsters rating between percentages and millions chart both rose dramatically until 1990. The trend in percentages chart then started to decrease at approximately 15 in between 1998 to 2002 before recieving an erratic trend stopped in 2038 around 10%. In contrast, after 1990, the number of youngsters started to decrease gradually in 1998 and went up and down for the end of the period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph illustrates the popularity of Australian children and the youngsters by the numbers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
80-year-period, starting from 1958.
Overall
, there is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward trend in percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
an opposite one.

It is obvious that the numbers of children aged 0-14 years reached the highest point at 30% in the starting year, and turned to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. The
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percentage
of kids then decreased
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having a fluctuation from 2014 to the ending.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
one hit a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
peak at 4 after
gradually
increasing from 1958 to 1970. This
was followed
by a
You used an adverb ('steadily') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('growth') instead of another adjective.
steadily growth
and ended at under 5
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millions
in 2038.

Furthermore
, the youngsters rating between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
both rose
dramatically
until 1990. The trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease at approximately 15 in
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1998 and 2002".
between 1998 to 2002
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieving
an erratic trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
in 2038 around 10%.
In contrast
, after 1990, the number of youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease
gradually
in 1998 and went up and down for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The given graph illustrates the popularity of Australian children and the youngsters by the numbers and the percentages for a 80-year-period, starting from 1958.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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