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The given graph depicts how agriculture, manufacturing and bussiness have contributed to the UK economy over 100 year period, from 1900 to 2000.

The given graph depicts how agriculture, manufacturing and bussiness have contributed to the UK economy over 100 year period, from 1900 to 2000. xD7xb
The given graph depicts how agriculture, manufacturing and bussiness have contributed to the UK economy over 100 year period, from 1900 to 2000. Overall, it is noticable that agriculture and manufacturing have contributed massively in the early years. But it didn't seem to persist a long time and as years passed business took the lead and found its place in the UK economy. In 1900, the agriculture sector had the greatest percentage, approximately reaching 50% and the second was manufacturing by 45%. While business hardly reaches 4 percent. After half a century, agriculture made the most contribution and increased to 53%. Wheras manufacturing fell to 36%. However, business grew in this year and reaches 8%. In 1975, the agriculture decreased dramatically and reaches 10%. Also manufacturing saw a drop of 4%. However, business improved considerably and reached to 20%. In the following years only the business sector increased and agriculture fell to 3% and maufacturing to 15%
The
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given
graph depicts how
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agriculture
,
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manufacturing
and
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bussiness
have contributed to the UK economy over 100
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year
period, from 1900 to 2000.
Overall
, it is
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noticable
that
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agriculture
and
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manufacturing
have contributed
massively
in the early years.
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But
it didn't seem to persist a long time and as years passed
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business
took the lead and found its place in the UK economy. In 1900, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
sector had the greatest percentage, approximately reaching 50% and the second was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
by 45%.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
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business
hardly reaches 4 percent. After half a century,
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agriculture
made the most contribution and increased to 53%.
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Wheras
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manufacturing
fell to 36%.
However
,
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business
grew in this
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year
and reaches 8%. In 1975, the
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agriculture
decreased
dramatically
and reaches 10%.
Also
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manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a drop of 4%.
However
,
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business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
considerably
and reached to 20%. In the following years
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only
the
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business
sector increased and
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agriculture
fell to 3% and
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maufacturing
to 15%
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IELTS academic The given graph depicts how agriculture, manufacturing and bussiness have contributed to the UK economy over 100 year period, from 1900 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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