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The given diagrams depicts the changes that have taken place at the West Park secondary school over a course of 60 years, since its construction in 1950 .

The given diagrams depicts the changes that have taken place at the West Park secondary school over a course of 60 years, since its construction in 1950. m3Bbn
The given diagrams depicts the changes that have taken place at the West Park secondary school over a course of 60 years, since its construction in 1950. When the school was first constructed in 1950, it comprised of the following lying along the side of the main road. : School, Playground, Farm land and Houses. In a course of 30 years, (i. e) in 1980, the main changes which can be observed is that houses were that were present in 1950, were demolished, and that place was dedicated to build Science block and a car parking. And the farmland got converted in to a sports field. The school building remained unchanged, and is now the main building. Again, in a course of 30 years, (i. e) in 2010, the car park was expanded and occupied the area which was previously occupied by the sports field in 1980. A minor part of the playground's area was allocated to the sports field. The science block and the school main building remained unaltered in terms of area. From a keen observation of the diagrams, one can come to a conclusion that, the School and its related areas were given more importance, and more area was allocated to it. So, the other things such as farmland and houses got completely left out in a course of 60 years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagrams depicts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that have taken place at the West Park secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of 60 years, since its construction in 1950.

When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was
first
constructed in 1950, it comprised of the following lying along the side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
road.
Loose punctuation mark.
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
, Playground, Farm land and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Houses
. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of 30 years, (i. e) in 1980, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which can
be observed
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were that were present in 1950,
were demolished
, and that place
was dedicated
to build Science block and a car parking. And the farmland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
converted in to a sports field. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
building remained unchanged, and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
building. Again, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of 30 years, (i. e) in 2010, the car park
was expanded
and occupied the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
which was previously occupied by the sports field in 1980. A minor part of the playground's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was allocated
to the sports field. The science block and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
building remained unaltered in terms of area.

From a keen observation of the diagrams, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
and its related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance, and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was allocated
to it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the other things such as farmland and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of 60 years.
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IELTS academic The given diagrams depicts the changes that have taken place at the West Park secondary school over a course of 60 years, since its construction in 1950.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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