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The table shows the underground railway system in 6 cities

The table shows the underground railway system in 6 cities G97JQ
THE CHART REPRESENT THE RAILWAY SYSTEM IN VARIOUS LOCATIONS. THE PASSENGERS PER YEAR ARE CALIBRATED IN MILLIONS AND DISTANCE IN KILO METER OVERALL, IT IS CONSPICUOUS THAT, LONDON IS THE EARLIEST AND COVERS THE LARGEST DISTANCE. ON CONTRARY, KYOTO IS THE SHORTEST WITH A DECLINE RATE OF PASSENGERS PER YEAR FIRST, THE OLDEST METRO RAIL IS SITUATED IN LONDON. IT WAS ESTABLISHED IN THE YEAR 1863, COVERS AN AREA OF 394 KILOMETERS ALONG WITH 775 CUSTOMERS PER YEAR. EVEN THOUGH, IT IS THE BIGGEST, TOKYO CARRIES 1927 PASSENGERS ANNUALLY BY STRETCHING OVER 155 KILOMETERS. THEY WERE INTRODUCED IN 1927. IN 1900, PARIS BROUGHT UP ANOTHER WHICH IS 199 KILOMETERS LONG WITH 1191 TOURIST IN AN YEAR. UPON THAT, IN 21ST CENTURY, LOS ANGELES HAS MADE THEIR UNDERGROUND RAIL IN 2001. IT IS SIGNIFICANTLY SHORTER AND TRAVELS ABOUT 28 KILOMETERS WITH PASSENGER RATE OF 50 MILLION PER PERIOD. ALTHOUGH LOS ANGELES IS SMALLER, IT IS NOT THE SMALLEST. IN 1921, KYOTO RAISED THEIR PROJECT WITH MERELY 11 KILOMETER DISTANCE INCLUDING 45 MILLION COMMUTERS FOR 365 DAYS. MORE OVER, WASHINGTON DC IN 1976 CREATED A LARGER NETWORK WITH 126 KILOMETER, HOWEVER, IT COMPRISED OF ONLY 144 MILLION PEOPLE PER YEAR.
THE CHART
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "represents".
REPRESENT
THE RAILWAY SYSTEM IN VARIOUS LOCATIONS. THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PASSENGERS
PER
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YEAR
ARE CALIBRATED
IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MILLIONS
AND DISTANCE IN KILO METER

OVERALL
, IT IS CONSPICUOUS THAT, LONDON IS THE EARLIEST AND COVERS THE LARGEST DISTANCE. ON CONTRARY, KYOTO IS THE SHORTEST WITH A DECLINE RATE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PASSENGERS
PER YEAR

FIRST
, THE OLDEST METRO RAIL
IS SITUATED
IN LONDON. IT
WAS ESTABLISHED
IN THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
YEAR
1863, COVERS AN AREA OF 394 KILOMETERS ALONG WITH 775 CUSTOMERS PER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
YEAR
.
EVEN THOUGH
, IT IS THE BIGGEST, TOKYO CARRIES 1927
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PASSENGERS
ANNUALLY
BY STRETCHING OVER 155 KILOMETERS. THEY
WERE INTRODUCED
IN 1927. IN 1900, PARIS BROUGHT UP ANOTHER WHICH IS 199 KILOMETERS LONG WITH 1191 TOURIST IN AN YEAR.

UPON THAT, IN 21ST CENTURY,
Did you mean "Los Angeles"?
LOS ANGELES
HAS MADE THEIR UNDERGROUND RAIL IN 2001. IT IS
SIGNIFICANTLY
SHORTER AND TRAVELS ABOUT 28 KILOMETERS WITH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PASSENGER
RATE OF 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MILLION
PER PERIOD. ALTHOUGH
Did you mean "Los Angeles"?
LOS ANGELES
IS SMALLER, IT IS NOT THE SMALLEST. IN 1921, KYOTO RAISED THEIR PROJECT WITH
MERELY
11 KILOMETER DISTANCE INCLUDING 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MILLION
COMMUTERS FOR 365 DAYS. MORE OVER, WASHINGTON DC IN 1976 CREATED A LARGER NETWORK WITH 126 KILOMETER,
HOWEVER
, IT COMPRISED OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
144
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MILLION
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
PER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
YEAR
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the underground railway system in 6 cities

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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