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The given diagram shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects the information about the weather and broadcast them.

The given diagram shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects the information about the weather and broadcast them. J19B
The given diagram shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects the information about the weather and broadcast them. The information is collected for updated forecasting, analyzed, prepared and broadcasted on television or radio to the publicThere are three ways of gathering the information. In the first stage, a satellite receive the information, capture a satellite photo and present the information. The radar also performs the task in same way. It receive the signals, transfer it to radar station and are presented to radar screen for forecasting. The drifting buoy receive the data from radar stations and show it on synoptic chart. Finally all the data is prepared on computer and is presented for broadcasting to the public.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the weather and broadcast them. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is collected
for updated forecasting, analyzed, prepared and broadcasted on television or radio to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
publicThere
are three ways of gathering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In the
first
stage, a satellite receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, capture a satellite photo and present the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radar
also
performs the task in same way. It
Did you mean "receives"?
receive
the signals, transfer it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radar
station and
are presented
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radar
screen for forecasting. The drifting buoy receive the data from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radar
stations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it on synoptic chart.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
all the data
is prepared
on computer and
is presented
for broadcasting to the public.
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IELTS academic The given diagram shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects the information about the weather and broadcast them.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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