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The given bar graph shows four major recruting company.People of different age groups the reasons they keep their jobs and don't look for new jobs.

The given bar graph shows four major recruting company. People of different age groups the reasons they keep their jobs and don't look for new jobs. ENBq3
The provided bar graph depicts the information about four main reasons employess choose to remain with their present employers. The questionarire, which was administered by the HR department of headhunying. Company was given to workers aged 21to 30, 31to 45, 45to 65. Overall, it is clear from the results that priorities change with age, especially in terms of security. To begin with, whereas 80%of the oldest group citied job security as a prime reason to continue with their current employer, less than a quarter of the youngest worker, 21percent felt the same. Conversely, the 21to 30 years old viewed their coworkers as the main motivation to stay at their jobs, at 72%less than half the oldest group said the same. Moving ahead, salary, while a deciding factor for all three groups, especially those between 31 and 45, still only ranks third among young workers, priorities, close behind their coworkers, this group vallied experience very highly. For both the middle, and older people's experience is the least important reason to stay at their jobs, at roughly42%, and 15 %respectively.
The provided bar graph depicts the information about four main reasons
Possible spelling mistake found.
employess
choose to remain with their present employers. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
questionarire
, which
was administered
by the HR department of
Possible spelling mistake found.
headhunying
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to workers aged 21to 30, 31to 45, 45to 65.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the results that priorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with age,
especially
in terms of security.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, whereas 80%of the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Possible spelling mistake found.
citied
job security as a prime reason to continue with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
employer, less than a quarter of the youngest worker, 21percent felt the same.
Conversely
, the 21to 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
viewed their coworkers as the main motivation to stay at their jobs, at 72%less than half the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
said the same.

Moving ahead, salary, while a deciding factor for all three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
especially
those between 31 and 45,
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ranks third among young workers, priorities, close behind their coworkers, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Possible spelling mistake found.
vallied
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
highly
. For both the middle, and older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's experience is the least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason to stay at their jobs, at roughly42%, and 15 %
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The given bar graph shows four major recruting company. People of different age groups the reasons they keep their jobs and don't look for new jobs.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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