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The given bar graph depicts the data about how many Australian children participate in various sports after school hours in 2014.

The given bar graph depicts the data about how many Australian children participate in various sports after school hours in 2014. bxD6q
The given bar graph depicts the data about how many Australian children participate in various sports after school hours in 2014. The data bas calibrated in the percentage Overall, It is lucid that football was the maximum game which were played by boys. However, a number of girls were participate in netball as compared with boys. Moving to detail, swimming wes les prefer by boys than girls. 18% boys liked to do swimming while, more than 15% girls were liked to participate in swimming competition. Approximately 20% bays were participate fant ball. However, less than 57℅ girls were liked it the trend of netball sports in girls were so far than boys as 18℅ percentile whilst the boys were negligible in it. Probing further, the same kind of sports were liked by both boys and girls counted as 8℅ and 6℅, respectively. less than 5℅ boys were participate other activity and exactly 5℅ girls were prefer different activities instead of sports.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph depicts the data about how
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many
Australian children
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participate
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
after school hours in 2014. The data
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bas
calibrated in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percentage


Overall
, It is lucid that football was the maximum game which
were played
by
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boys
.
However
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were
Consider using a past participle here: "participated".
participate
in netball as compared with boys.

Moving to detail, swimming
Possible spelling mistake found.
wes
Possible spelling mistake found.
les
prefer by
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boys
than
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girls
. 18%
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boys
liked to do swimming while, more than 15%
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girls
were liked
to
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participate
in swimming competition. Approximately 20% bays were
Consider using a past participle here: "participated".
participate
Possible spelling mistake found.
fant
ball.
However
, less than 57℅
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girls
were liked
it the trend of netball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far than
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boys
as 18℅ percentile whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
were negligible in it.

Probing
further
, the same kind of
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sports
were liked
by both
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boys
and
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girls
counted as 8℅ and 6℅,
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
less
than 5℅
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
were
Consider using a past participle here: "participated".
participate
other activity and exactly 5℅
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were
Consider using a past participle here: "preferred".
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS academic The given bar graph depicts the data about how many Australian children participate in various sports after school hours in 2014.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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