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The following chart compares and contrasts on the changes in level of visitors in two asian states namely Dubai and Malaysia over a period of 9 years between 1995 and 2003, measures in thousand people(TP).

The following chart compares and contrasts on the changes in level of visitors in two asian states namely Dubai and Malaysia over a period of 9 years between 1995 and 2003, measures in thousand people(TP). G9Pk2
The following chart compares and contrasts on the changes in level of visitors in two asian states namely Dubai and Malaysia over a period of 9 years between 1995 and 2003, measures in thousand people(TP). Generally speaking, it is clear that fluctuating in some part notwithstanding, regarding travellers rate, over the period as a whole, these two countries experienced a sequentially uplift in the number of trippers. It is plainly viewed that passengers number in Malaysia had a notable difference in compare of Dubai. It was 100(TP) for Malaysia while in 1995 just half number visited Dubai. Despite a moderate falling in level of Dubai's trippers in 1996 and 1999, there was a dramatic climb for both until 2001. The point which two countries was at a fairly level of 325(TP). At this point Dubai's rate started to collapse significantly until 2003 where we see the factor was roughly 250(TP). According to the figure, Malaysia's rate continued its increase with a quickly surge up to 2003 by reaching to 400(TP)
The following chart compares and contrasts on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in level of visitors in two
Possible spelling mistake found.
asian
states
namely
Dubai and Malaysia over a period of 9 years between 1995 and 2003, measures in
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(TP).

Generally
speaking, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that fluctuating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part notwithstanding, regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
rate, over the period as a whole, these two countries experienced a
You used an adverb ('sequentially') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('uplift') instead of another adjective.
sequentially uplift
in the number of trippers.

It is
plainly
viewed that passengers number in Malaysia had a notable difference in compare of Dubai. It was 100(TP) for Malaysia while in 1995
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
half number visited Dubai. Despite a moderate falling in level of Dubai's trippers in 1996 and 1999, there was a dramatic climb for both until 2001. The point which two countries was at a
You used an adverb ('fairly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('level') instead of another adjective.
fairly level
of 325(TP). At this point Dubai's rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to collapse
significantly
until 2003 where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the factor was roughly 250(TP). According to the figure, Malaysia's rate continued its increase with a
You used an adverb ('quickly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('surge') instead of another adjective.
quickly surge
up to 2003 by reaching to 400(TP)
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IELTS academic The following chart compares and contrasts on the changes in level of visitors in two asian states namely Dubai and Malaysia over a period of 9 years between 1995 and 2003, measures in thousand people(TP).

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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