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The following bar chart shows the result of a survey carried out by a newspaper on the average hours people spend on their daily activities

The following bar chart shows the result of a survey carried out by a newspaper on the average hours people spend on their daily activities JVbnD
The given bar chart describes the outcome of investigation accomplished by a newspaper on the average hours people take on their everyday activities. It can be seen clearly from that graph that the average hours on their everyday activities listed ranged between 1 hour and 9 hours. Within this range, however, there is some notable variation. Working has the highest average hours people spend on their daily activities, with a figure of approximately 9 hours. This is significantly higher than other activities. On the other hand, housework and other leisure activities with the same figure has the lowest average hours on their everyday activities, it only takes 1 hours. We can see from the chart that sleeping has the second highest average hours among six categories in the survey of about 7 hours, followed by watching TV with the figure being significantly lower, at only 4 hours. Eating accounts for half the figure of watching TV, with around 2 hours.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the outcome of investigation accomplished by a newspaper on the
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take on their everyday activities.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
from that graph that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on their everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
listed ranged between 1
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hour
and 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Within this range,
however
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notable variation.

Working has the highest
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend on their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, with a
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figure
of approximately 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. This is
significantly
higher than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
On the other hand
, housework and other leisure
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activities
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
has the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on their everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes 1 hours.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the chart that sleeping has the second highest
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
among six categories in the survey of about 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, followed by watching TV with the
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figure
being
significantly
lower, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Eating accounts for half the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of watching TV, with around 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
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IELTS academic The following bar chart shows the result of a survey carried out by a newspaper on the average hours people spend on their daily activities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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