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The charts below show what senior high school students in 3 different high schools (Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford) spent their money on in 2005

The charts below show what senior high school students in 3 different high schools (Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford) spent their money on in 2005 Rw8qp
The three pie charts compare how senior students in three high schools spent their money in 2005. From an overall perspective, it is apparent that the spending pattern of students in these academies differed from each other, although they shared the same interest in video games. As observed, nearly one-third of students’ total spending went on food in Beaufort high school, closely followed by video games and movies, whose data constituted 28% and 22%, respectively. Meanwhile, the money proportion allocated to music and clothing stood at around 10%. In Westmont, students spent slightly over a quarter on video games and movies, while music and food occupied similar portions, at roughly 20%. Similarly, 32% of spending was funded on video games, the significant expenditure, which four-folded movie expenses. Music ranked second with 28% compared to 22% in clothes shopping. Lately, only 10% allocated on food, far less than spending in Westmont and Beaufort high school.
The three pie charts compare how senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in three high schools spent their money in 2005.

From an
overall
perspective, it is apparent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in these academies differed from each other, although they shared the same interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
games.

As observed,
nearly
one-third of
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students’
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
went on food in Beaufort high school,
closely
followed by
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video
games and movies, whose data constituted 28% and 22%,
respectively
. Meanwhile, the money proportion allocated to music and clothing stood at around 10%.

In
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Westmont
,
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students
spent
slightly
over a quarter on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
games and movies, while music and food occupied similar portions, at roughly 20%.

Similarly
, 32% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
was funded
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
games, the significant expenditure, which four-folded movie expenses. Music ranked second with 28% compared to 22% in clothes shopping. Lately,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% allocated on food, far less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Westmont
and Beaufort high school.
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IELTS academic The charts below show what senior high school students in 3 different high schools (Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford) spent their money on in 2005

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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