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The First chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countries in the same period.

The first chart illustrates the proportion of the population of two countries (England and Wales) from 1700 to 2000, and the second chart shows the rates of birth and deaths in those counties during the given period of time. It is crystal clear that, population rate dramatically increased from the beginning up to 2000 and however the birth and death rates wax and waned from 1700 to 2000. In 1700, approximately 8 million of citizens were born and moreover, the population rate also equal to the birth rate and the death rate were around 7 million in that particular year. By 1800, the birth rate significantly climbed up to 23 million and furthermore, the death rate witnessed an upward trend (18 million people) and the whole population were also 18 million. In 1900, the population rate had a notable growth (38 million) nonetheless, the birth rate and death rate dropped up to 13 million and 7 million. Turning to 2000, it is evident that the population rate increased gradually and ended up peeking around 48 million people. Nevertheless, both birth rate and death rate slightly decreased.
The
first
chart illustrates the proportion of the
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population
of two countries (England and Wales) from 1700 to 2000, and the second chart
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shows
the
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rates
of
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birth
and deaths in those counties during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.

It is crystal
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clear
that,
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population
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rate
dramatically
increased from the beginning up to 2000 and
however
the
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birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
wax and waned from 1700 to 2000.

In 1700, approximately 8
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million
of citizens
were born
and
moreover
, the
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population
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rate
also
equal to the
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birth
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rate
and the death
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rate
were around 7
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million
in that particular year. By 1800, the
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birth
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rate
significantly
climbed up to 23
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million
and
furthermore
, the death
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rate
witnessed an upward trend (18
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million
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people
) and the whole
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population
were
also
18
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million
. In 1900, the
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population
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rate
had a notable growth (38
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million)
nonetheless, the
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and death
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rate
dropped up to 13
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million
and 7 million.

Turning to 2000, it is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
increased
gradually
and ended up peeking around 48
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Nevertheless
, both
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
slightly
decreased.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The First chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countries in the same period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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