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The first chart shows the population of

The first chart shows the population of R3Kk
The one bar chart indicates the number of people in England and Wales from 1700-2000, and another chart compares the fertility and mortality rates in the same place and years. Overall, it is clear that the population increased over the period while the birth rate was higher than the death rate over the period shown. In 1700, the population stood at just below 10 billion whereas the people who were born were slightly higher than the people who died at just under 10, 000 and just above 5, 000 respectively. In 1800, the population rose minimally at just beneath 20 billion whilst the birth and death rates went up remarkably at nearly 25, 000 and close to 15, 000 sequentially. In 1900, the population climbed drastically at about 40 billion, but there was a gradual decrease in birth rate at approximately 15, 000 and death rate at around 5, 000. In 2000, the quantity escalated significantly to 50, 000; however, the birth rate was slightly similar to 1900 and the death rate at exactly 5, 000.
The one bar chart indicates the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in England and Wales from 1700-2000, and another chart compares the fertility and mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in the same place and years.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
increased over the period while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was higher than the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
over the period shown.

In 1700, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
stood at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 10 billion whereas the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were born
were
slightly
higher than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10, 000 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 5, 000
respectively
. In 1800, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rose
minimally
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beneath 20 billion whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
went up
remarkably
at
nearly
25, 000 and close to 15, 000
sequentially
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1900, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
climbed
drastically
at about 40 billion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was a gradual decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at approximately 15, 000 and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at around 5, 000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
2000, the quantity escalated
significantly
to 50, 000;
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
slightly
similar to 1900 and the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at exactly 5, 000.
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IELTS academic The first chart shows the population of

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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