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the chart shows the number of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009

the chart shows the number of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009 0bg1
The pie chart shows the numbers of hours devoted to various activities in the average working woman's day. Women spend the largest proportion of their working in paid employment seven hours and doing domestic chores five hours. women have on average relatively little time for themselves; only two percent of their day is devoted to leisure activities and two percent to mealtimes. Overall, the chart shows that working women are busy every day of the week.
The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the numbers of hours devoted to various activities in the average working woman's day. Women spend the largest proportion of their working in paid employment seven hours and doing domestic chores five hours.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
women
have on average
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time for themselves;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two percent of their day
is devoted
to leisure activities and two percent to mealtimes.
Overall
, the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that working women are busy every day of the week.
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IELTS academic the chart shows the number of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
76 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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