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The first chart shows the energy use in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from the energy use. Summarise the information below, report changes and make comparisons where necessary v.2

The first chart shows the energy use in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from the energy use.
The first graph illustrates the proportions of six different types of energy used in an average household in Australia. The second chart demonstrates the percentages of greenhouse gas emissions resulted from the energy use. Overall, it is clear that in Australia, heating is the most frequently used energy, while water heating creates the most gas emissions. Looking at the first graph, it is noticeable that Australian households use heating as their main source of energy, accounted for 42%. Meanwhile, water heating and other appliances are also often used energy just after heating, with 30% and 15% respectively. On the other hand, cooling, lighting and refrigeration are among the least used types of energy, only 13% in total. At the same time, as displayed in the second chart, water heating becomes the largest gas emitted source with 32%, followed by other appliances with just 4% in difference, accounted for about 28% of the total figures. In addition, heating and refrigeration are almost the same proportions in terms of producing greenhouse gas emissions. Last but not least, cooling and lighting create the least amount of gas emissions, with the percentages just around 3% and 8% accordingly.
The
first
graph illustrates the proportions of six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in an average household in Australia. The second chart demonstrates the percentages of greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emissions resulted from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in Australia,
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heating
is the most
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, while water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
creates the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emissions.

Looking at the
first
graph, it is noticeable that Australian households
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
as their main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, accounted for 42%. Meanwhile, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and other appliances are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
, with 30% and 15%
respectively
.
On the other hand
, cooling, lighting and refrigeration are among the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
13% in total.

At the same time, as displayed in the second chart, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
becomes the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emitted source with 32%, followed by other appliances with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
4% in difference, accounted for about 28% of the total figures.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and refrigeration are almost the same proportions in terms of producing greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emissions. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, cooling and lighting create the least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emissions, with the percentages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 3% and 8%
accordingly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS academic The first chart shows the energy use in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from the energy use.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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