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The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.

The table and the bar chart depict the information of the purpose of travelling by the UK inhabitant from 1994 to 1998 and the areas destination based on the survey to 100. 000 people. At a glance, holiday was the most common reason of going abroad and the number of people who were travelling gradually climbed up year by year. Visit another countries for leisure became quite popular for the five years period. Disregard the down trend at 1995, overall, the number of traveller increased per year from 15. 246 to 20. 700. This number followed by the business trip reason which account for approximately 20% from the quantity of holiday purpose. In general, people going for a business slightly increased for only 800 people for 5 consecutive years. This number is relatively the same with the reason of visiting friends or relatives which ranges between 2. 689 - 3. 181. At last, other reasons were chosen by only 900-1000 survey participants with a small oscillation from 1994 to 1998. Overall, the number of UK residents going to the Western Europe were the highest at a number slightly below 20. 000 to almost 25. 000. Nevertheless, North America and other areas were on the second and third position respectively.
The table and the bar chart depict the information of the purpose of travelling by the UK inhabitant from 1994 to 1998 and the
An apostrophe may be missing.
areas
destination based on the survey to 100. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. At a glance, holiday was the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of going abroad and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were travelling
gradually
climbed up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by year.

Visit another countries for leisure became quite popular for the five years period. Disregard the
This word is normally spelled as one. Did you mean “downtrend”?
down trend
at 1995,
overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘traveller’ is British English.
traveller
increased per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
from 15. 246 to 20. 700. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
followed by the business trip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which account for approximately 20% from the quantity of holiday purpose.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going for a business
slightly
increased for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for 5 consecutive years. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is
relatively
the same with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of visiting friends or relatives which ranges between 2.
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
689 - 3
. 181. At last, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
were chosen
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
900-1000 survey participants with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
oscillation from 1994 to 1998.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of UK residents going to the Western Europe were the highest at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
slightly
below 20. 000 to almost 25. 000.
Nevertheless
, North America and other areas were on the second and third position
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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