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The figure reveals the using and manufacture of oil in China between 1982 and 2006.

The figure reveals the using and manufacture of oil in China between 1982 and 2006. b2aDP
The figure reveals the using and manufacture of oil in China between 1982 and 2006. It can be seen from the graph that the line graph always showed the upward trend in both aspects and the highest consumption and production was both in 2006, the lowest of them was from 1992 to 1990 and 1982 respectively. First of all, export remained stable at 2 million barrels per day and then rose gradually more than 1, 5 millions. After that the raising reached the peak in 1994 then rose steadily by 1998. Nevertheless, the last period between 2002 and 2006 the depletion fluctuated dramatically at approximately 7 millions oil barrels. Furthermore, the production started at 2 million oil barrels and grew moderately in through 8 years at roundly 3, 5 millions. Subsequently, the line graph was stable at 3 millions, until 2016 the growing was marginally over the 3, 5 millions barrels. Especially, the creation in 2006 led the way with nearly 4 millions oil barrels each day.
The figure reveals the using and manufacture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
in China between 1982 and 2006.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that the line graph always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the upward trend in both aspects and the highest consumption and production was both in 2006, the lowest of them was from 1992 to 1990 and 1982
respectively
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, export remained stable at 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
per day and then rose
gradually
more than 1, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the raising reached the peak in 1994 then rose
steadily
by 1998.
Nevertheless
, the last period between 2002 and 2006 the depletion fluctuated
dramatically
at approximately 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
barrels.

Furthermore
, the production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
and grew
moderately
in through 8 years at
roundly
3, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
Subsequently
, the line graph was stable at 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, until 2016 the growing was
marginally
over the 3, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
.
Especially
, the creation in 2006 led the way with
nearly
4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
each day.
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IELTS academic The figure reveals the using and manufacture of oil in China between 1982 and 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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