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ЛО-21 Чистяков_Микробиология

ЛО-21 Чистяков_Микробиология kxaMM
The graph represents how students between 12 and 19 years old communicated from November 2006 to September 2009. The main idea that can be seen in the graph is that across the timeline students started to use text messages more often than emails. The number of people using calls on cell phones and talking face-to-face stayed the same with some fluctuation. The percent of all teenagers who used text messages grew from around 30% in November 2006 to almost 60% in September 2009. Email started with 15% in November 2006 and declined to 10%. Calls on cell phones remained constant/stayed the same at 35%. Face-to-face talks remained at 30% betweenNovember 2006 and September 2009 with some fluctuation between 28% and 40%, with a 40% peak in November 2007.
The graph represents how students between 12 and 19 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
communicated from November 2006 to September 2009.

The main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the graph is that across the timeline students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
text messages more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than emails.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using calls on cell phones and talking face-to-face stayed the same with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
percent of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
text messages grew from around 30% in November 2006 to almost 60% in September 2009. Email
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 15% in November 2006 and declined to 10%.

Calls on cell phones remained constant/stayed the same at 35%. Face-to-face talks remained at 30%
Possible spelling mistake found.
betweenNovember
2006 and September 2009 with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation between 28% and 40%, with a 40% peak in November 2007.

IELTS academic ЛО-21 Чистяков_Микробиология

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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