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The figure provide detail of spending school by two different gender between 2000and 2010.

The figure provide detail of spending school by two different gender between 2000and 2010. ker3K
The bar chart provide information about different genders students year spend in school from 2000 to 2010. While, the pie chart give details where learners studying. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that both male and female display an upward trend, through male experienced lower levels in spending year. In 2000 there are equal proportion of secoundry school, college, diploma and university but in 2010, university climbed high comparative secoundry school was feeling dramatically. In Singapore, in 2000 male ratio spend yend in school was 7. 5 and female are in low point 5. 5 the data magnificently rose slightly in further years and finished the end in 2010 by 9 years and female spend 8years. Concerning the type of school In 2000, most students were in secoundry school 27. 7% which is higher than college by 1. 2%. Diploma were 3. 4% higher than universitydegree 21. 8%. Lookong specifically in 2010, surprisingly, university degree surging on peak by 44. 5% but secoundry school fell slightly and accounted to 8% however, declining the ratio of students in university and rose in diploma by 16. 3% and 31. 2% respectively.
The bar chart provide information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
from 2000 to 2010.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the pie chart give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
where learners studying.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that both male and female display an upward trend, through male experienced lower levels in spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In 2000 there are equal proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
secoundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, college, diploma and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2010,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
climbed high comparative
Possible spelling mistake found.
secoundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was feeling
dramatically
.

In Singapore, in 2000 male ratio spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
yend
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was 7. 5 and female are in low point 5. 5 the data
magnificently
rose
slightly
in
further
years and finished the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
in 2010 by 9 years and female spend 8years.

Concerning the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
In 2000, most students were in
Possible spelling mistake found.
secoundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
27. 7% which is higher than college by 1. 2%. Diploma were 3. 4% higher than
Possible spelling mistake found.
universitydegree
21. 8%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lookong
specifically
in 2010,
surprisingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree surging on peak by 44. 5%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
secoundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fell
slightly
and accounted to 8%
however
, declining the ratio of students in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and rose in diploma by 16. 3% and 31. 2%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The figure provide detail of spending school by two different gender between 2000and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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