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The figure illustrates the process of producing ready-to-eat noodles.

The figure illustrates the process of producing ready-to-eat noodles. 5L3mP
The figure illustrates the process of producing ready-to-eat noodles. the initial impression from the graph is that most part of the manufacturing process happens by the machines. In addition, the whole process is based on making noodles in a factory. First, a truck delivers soils to the storage. The mixer machine is not started to work unless the delivered soils are added by water and oil. Then, the mixture of soil, water, and oil is turned into the dough sheets by the rollers. Next, the sheets are ready to be cut and turn into dough strips; After being shaped like a disc by the Machine, the discs of noodles are ready to be cooked and dried which marks the last part of the cooking process. In terms of the packaging process, it's included three major parts which are happened respectively; First, the cups which are contained by the cocked-meal from the last process are added with vegetables and spices. Then, the whole pack gets ready to get labels and sealing that marks the final stage of the process.
The figure illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of producing ready-to-eat noodles.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
initial impression from the graph is that most part of the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
happens by the machines.
In addition
, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is based
on making noodles in a factory.

First
, a truck delivers soils to the storage. The mixer machine is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to work unless the delivered soils are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
by water and oil. Then, the mixture of soil, water, and oil
is turned
into the dough sheets by the rollers.
Next
, the sheets are ready to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
and turn into dough strips; After
being shaped
like a disc by the Machine, the discs of noodles are ready to
be cooked
and dried which marks the last part of the cooking process.

In terms of the packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, it's included three major parts which
are happened
respectively
;
First
, the cups which
are contained
by the cocked-meal from the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
with vegetables and spices. Then, the whole pack
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
labels and sealing that marks the final stage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
.
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IELTS academic The figure illustrates the process of producing ready-to-eat noodles.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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