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bar chart and write summary of it by comparing data of minutes in UK

bar chart and write summary of it by comparing data of minutes in UK oxEW3
The bar chart illustrates the amount of time (in billion minutes) spend on telephone calls in the UK, from the year 1995 to 2002. The data is observed for three different categories of calls. Overall, there is a gradual increase in both the mobiles' calls and the national and international calls over the 7-year period. Whereas, local calls, even after experiencing a slight increase, ended up having comparable minutes at the end of 2002 as compared to the one in 1995. According to the bar chart, national and international calls started off with almost 38-billion minutes in 1995, faced a moderate rise every next year and ended up peaking at near the value of 60-billion minutes in the year 2002. Calls through mobiles, on the other hand, began with an extremely low value of about 5-billion minutes in 1995. However, over a span of 7 years, this call type climbed dramatically till the striking number of around 45-billion minutes. On the contrary, local (fixed line) calls began with a whopping amount of almost 72-billion, if not trillion, minutes and rose with a modest rate till 1999, reaching a value of 90-billion minutes. However, this value soon started declining and ended up at square one i. e. around 72-billion minutes, thus, the next quantity remained the same.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of time (in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
minutes) spend on telephone
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calls
in the UK, from the
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year
1995 to 2002. The data
is observed
for three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories of calls.

Overall
, there is a gradual increase in both the mobiles'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and the national and international
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calls
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
7-year
period. Whereas, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
, even after experiencing a slight increase, ended up having comparable minutes at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2002 as compared to the one in 1995.

According to the bar chart, national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
38-billion
minutes in 1995, faced a moderate rise every
next
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year
and ended up peaking at near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
60-billion
minutes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Calls
through mobiles,
on the other hand
, began with an
extremely
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
5-billion
minutes in 1995.
However
, over a span of 7 years, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
type climbed
dramatically
till the striking number of around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
45-billion
minutes.

On the contrary
, local (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
began with a whopping amount of almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
72-billion
, if not trillion, minutes and rose with a modest rate till 1999, reaching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
90-billion
minutes.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
declining and ended up at square one
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
72-billion
minutes,
thus
, the
next
quantity remained the same.
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IELTS academic bar chart and write summary of it by comparing data of minutes in UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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