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the different age of people attend

the different age of people attend o5BN9
The chart depicts the proportion of audience in various age groups in one European country who went to cinema once a month or more between 2000 and 2011. Overall, the demographical figures tell us all age group experienced increase over the period surveyed. Another notable feature is that audiences aged 15 to 24 had faster growth than any other age group. In 2000, the highest ratio of people went to cinema belonged to people aged 15 to 24 with 16%, which was approximately three times as high as that of people aged 25 to 35. The respective figures for children group and people aged 35 and over were drastically, 10% and 2% respectively. Over the following eleven years, the highest rate of upward trend belonged to people aged 15 to 24, being the top proportion of the whole table. Similarly, audiences in teenager group and aged 25 to 35 rose in its proportion, with the same percentage at 30%. In addition, audiences aged 35 and over experienced a slight climb over the period.
The chart depicts the proportion of
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audience
in various age
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groups
in one European country who went to cinema once a month or more between 2000 and 2011.

Overall
, the
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demographical
figures
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tell
us all age
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group
experienced increase
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over
the period surveyed. Another notable feature is that
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audiences
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aged
15 to 24 had faster growth than any other age group.

In 2000, the highest ratio of
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people
went to cinema belonged to
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people
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aged
15 to 24 with 16%, which was approximately three times as high as that of
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people
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aged
25 to 35. The respective figures for children
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group
and
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people
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aged
35 and
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over
were
drastically
, 10% and 2%
respectively
.

Over the following eleven years, the highest rate of upward trend belonged to
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people
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aged
15 to 24, being the top proportion of the whole table.
Similarly
,
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audiences
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and
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aged
25 to 35 rose in its proportion, with the same percentage at 30%.
In addition
,
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audiences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
35 and
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over
experienced a slight climb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period.
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IELTS academic the different age of people attend

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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