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report the changed in the number of people who moved away urban areas using the following linegraph

report the changed in the number of people who moved away urban areas using the following linegraph Ow0Oy
The following line chart illustrates the information about the number of people who moved to the metropolis from the countryside in three different countries over the period of 25 years, including the prediction to 2025. In general; all three countries rose constantly from 2000 to 2020. The most remarkable rise happened with A country and C. First of all, it is apparent from the chart that the number of immigrants relocated to urban areas in the A country rose significantly in the first 5 years ( from 2000 to 2005 ), where it nearly doubled. While in country C, saw a small change in the figure citizens changed their home to crowded areas. In the next 15 years, both of these figures rocketed to the same level at 80 millions people. In addition, as the prediction for these two countries, the number of people who decided to move away from their hometown to metropolis continue to go up sharply. On the other hand, in 2000, there were only 10 million immigrants in B country who choose metropolis as a city for their new home. In the next 10 years, saw the gradual increase regarding the same figures. . According to the forecast by the expert, this number will start to level off. In the next 5 years.
The following line chart illustrates the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the metropolis from the countryside in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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countries
over the period of 25 years, including the prediction to 2025.

In general
; all three
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countries
rose
constantly
from 2000 to 2020. The most remarkable rise happened with A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and C.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is apparent from the chart that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of immigrants relocated to urban areas in the A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
rose
significantly
in the
first
5 years
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
from 2000 to 2005
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
, where it
nearly
doubled. While in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
C,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the figure citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their home to crowded areas. In the
next
15 years, both of these figures rocketed to the same level at 80 millions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, as the prediction for these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from their hometown to metropolis continue to go up
sharply
.
On the other hand
, in 2000, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10 million immigrants in B
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
who choose metropolis as a city for their new home. In the
next
10 years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the gradual increase regarding the same figures.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
According to the forecast by the expert, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to level off. In the
next
5 years.
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IELTS academic report the changed in the number of people who moved away urban areas using the following linegraph

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
217 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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