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The diagrams depict the life cycle of a large aquatic animal called Salmon. There are three major periods in the life cycle of Salmon fish.

The diagrams depict the life cycle of a large aquatic animal called Salmon. There are three major periods in the life cycle of Salmon fish. 0agk9
The diagrams depict the life cycle of a large aquatic animal called Salmon. There are three major periods in the life cycle of Salmon fish. In the first and foremost stage of the cycle, Salmon fish lay eggs beneath the small stones and reeds. Approximately after 5 to 6 months in the slow moving upper river, the eggs hatch out and form a tiny structured fish of 3-8 cms long. In the next four years, they stay in a fast flowing lower river and after becoming smolt (12-15 cms length) they move to large salt water bodies. Finally, after half a decade, they become adult salmon. They grow 70 to 76 cms in length and are gigantic in size. In their final stages of the cycle, they stay in a large open sea. Overall, Salmon eggs take half a year for hatching out and nearly a decade for growing into adult fish. The process repeats itself when the adult lays eggs in the fresh channels of water.
The diagrams depict the life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
of a large aquatic animal called Salmon. There are three major periods in the life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
of Salmon fish.

In the
first
and foremost stage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
, Salmon fish lay eggs beneath the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones and reeds. Approximately after 5 to 6 months in the slow moving upper river, the eggs hatch out and form a tiny structured fish of 3-8
Possible spelling mistake found.
cms
long. In the
next
four years, they stay in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
flowing lower river and after becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
(12-15
Possible spelling mistake found.
cms
length) they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to large salt water bodies.

Finally
, after half a decade, they become adult salmon. They grow 70 to 76
Possible spelling mistake found.
cms
in length and are
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
gigantic in size
. In their final stages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
, they stay in a large open sea.

Overall
, Salmon eggs take half a year for hatching out and
nearly
a decade for growing into adult fish. The process repeats itself when the adult lays eggs in the fresh channels of water.
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IELTS academic The diagrams depict the life cycle of a large aquatic animal called Salmon. There are three major periods in the life cycle of Salmon fish.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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