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The diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort. v.2

The diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort. v. 2
The diagrams represent the changes made with a small fishing village turning into a large tourist resort in Europe. Overall, fishing village had mostly residential and agricultural areas near to the beach in the south of the map, which turned into commercial buildings along the beach lines. It is apparent that, the decks for boats have been removed for beach resorts. Fishing village had almost nothing but few houses and boats near to the ocean in the south of the map while on the West of map had farms and forest areas. There was a deck at the edge of the village for easy access for fishers. This small village has turned into a commercialized village where tall buildings have constructed along the beach line. Since the deck has been removed, there were parasols in pace for entertainment. Meanwhile, the forest and farming areas removed for a golf course and the big roads have built to connect the villages located in West North of the map.
The diagrams represent the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
made with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
turning into a large tourist resort in Europe.

Overall
, fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
had
mostly
residential and agricultural areas near to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
in the south of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
, which turned into commercial buildings along the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
lines. It is apparent that, the decks for boats have
been removed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
resorts.

Fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
had almost nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and boats near to the ocean in the south of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
while on the West of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
had farms and forest areas. There was a deck at the edge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
for easy access for fishers.

This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
has turned into a commercialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
where tall buildings have constructed along the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
line. Since the deck has
been removed
, there were parasols in pace for entertainment. Meanwhile, the forest and farming areas removed for a golf course and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
roads have built to connect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
located in West North of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS academic The diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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