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The diagram below shows the development a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort. v.2

The diagram below shows the development a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort. v. 2
Both the pictorial charts illustrate the evolution of small fishing European village in period of three decades. With the given aerial view, i observed the highlighter is the enaromous development witnessed in small fishing hamlet. Specially, the population soaring to 80, 000 from a bleak 12, 000 with an addition of 50, 000 during the peak season. While, the major changes witnessed were perishing of the traditional occupation such as rearing of sheep and goats, harbour, more emphasis was on beautification of breaches especially with mushrooming of hotel and skyscraper buildings for the tourists. Relatively, generating employment. Besides, the surgical removal off woodland and transforming into a golf course, an intiated step towards entertainment, while, olives changed into agriculture exclusively for catering hotel industry. In addition, homes were renovated for self employment with opening of shops. Surprisingly, it is noted the original village remained untampered. In the nutsell, it can derived holistically this hamlet did undergo tremendous cosmetic change, unfortunately, also transformed into a concrete jungle. Apparently, the road has been instrumental in the influx of the population and giving access to this place.
Both the pictorial charts illustrate the evolution of
small
fishing European village in period of three decades.

With the
given
aerial view,
i
observed the highlighter is the
enaromous
development witnessed in
small
fishing hamlet.
Specially
, the population soaring to 80, 000 from a bleak 12, 000 with an addition of 50, 000 during the peak season. While, the major
changes
witnessed were perishing of the traditional occupation such as rearing of sheep and goats,
harbour
, more emphasis was on beautification of breaches
especially
with mushrooming of hotel and skyscraper buildings for the tourists.
Relatively
, generating employment.
Besides
, the surgical removal off woodland and transforming into a golf course, an
intiated
step towards entertainment, while, olives
changed
into agriculture exclusively for catering hotel industry.
In addition
, homes
were renovated
for self employment with opening of shops.
Surprisingly
, it
is noted
the original village remained
untampered
.

In the
nutsell
, it can
derived
holistically
this hamlet did undergo tremendous cosmetic
change
, unfortunately,
also
transformed into a concrete jungle.
Apparently
, the road has been instrumental in the influx of the population and giving access to this place.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the development a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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