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The diagram shows various stages of milk processing. The information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram shows various stages of milk processing. The information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant ENNmM
The above pictorial representation demonstrates the steps of milk processing. The foremost step of this process is grading of milk which is separated into two grades. The next and the key step before sampling from tubes of sample collectors is weighing of milk. The next in row is clarification of milk which is for the removal of dirt from milk, the main motive of this step is to separate curd from the milk. The following both steps are interlinked with each other. The initial one of them is Homogenisation of milk which is a process that gives milk its rich, white colour and smooth texture. The step just next to this one is pasteurization which is an essential part of milk production which makes sure that milk is safe to drink by killing the bacteria present in it if any. The upcoming one is cooling of milk which is purposely done to preserve its quality and to ensure that it doesn't get spoilt. The end of the production step is distribution of milk by packaging it in bottles.
The above pictorial representation demonstrates the
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steps
of
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milk
processing. The foremost
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step
of this process is grading of
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milk
which
is separated
into two grades.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
next
and the key
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step
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sampling from tubes of sample collectors is weighing of
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milk
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
next
in row is clarification of
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milk
which is for the removal of dirt from
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milk
, the main motive of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is to separate curd from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
following both
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steps
are interlinked
with each other.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
initial one of them is
Possible spelling mistake. 'Homogenisation' is British English.
Homogenisation
of
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milk
which is a process that gives
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milk
its rich, white
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
and smooth texture.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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step
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
next
to this one is pasteurization which is an essential part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
production which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that
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milk
is safe to drink by killing the bacteria present in it if any.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
upcoming one is cooling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
which is
purposely
done to preserve its quality and to ensure that it doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'spoilt' is British English.
spoilt
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the production
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step
is distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
by packaging it in bottles.

IELTS academic The diagram shows various stages of milk processing. The information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
178 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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