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The Line graph below indicates the standard discharge of Carbon Dioxide for each person in britain, Sweden, Italy and Portugal from 1967 to 2007

The Line graph below indicates the standard discharge of Carbon Dioxide for each person in britain, Sweden, Italy and Portugal from 1967 to 2007 OrrqN
As It is shown from the Graph, in 1967, nearly 10, 7 metric tonnes of CO released by British people and the amount decreased approximately by 24% by the year of 2007. By the time, Portugese people has given off 1, 4 tonnes of substance in 1967. The figures of carbon dioxide emission level Increased in high rates, it reached to 5, 6 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide ( increased 47% ) till 2007. the main difference of these Two countries is the level decreased year by year with british people oppositely, the numbers increased significantly with portugese population. During these years, the amount of CO given off by the Swedish people fluctuated between 1967 and 2007. the proportion index increased by 2 metric tonnes more from 1967 till 1977 and the figure suddenly decreased by nearly 33% till 1987. When it comes to the other country in our line graph, it is Italy. Italians given off more and more Tons of Carbon dioxide year by year till 2007.
As It
is shown
from the Graph, in 1967,
nearly
10, 7 metric tonnes of CO released by British
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people
and the amount decreased approximately by 24% by the
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year
of 2007. By the time,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Portugese
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
off 1, 4 tonnes of substance in 1967.

The figures of carbon dioxide emission level
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Increased
in high rates, it reached to 5, 6 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide
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(
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increased
47%
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)
till 2007.
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the
main difference of these Two countries is the level decreased
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year
by
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year
with
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british
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people
oppositely
, the numbers
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increased
significantly
with
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portugese
population.

During these years, the amount of CO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
off by the Swedish
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people
fluctuated between 1967 and 2007.
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the
proportion index
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increased
by 2 metric tonnes more
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1967 to 1977"?
from 1967 till 1977
and the figure
suddenly
decreased by
nearly
33% till 1987.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the other country in our line graph, it is Italy. Italians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
off more and more Tons of Carbon dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
till 2007.

IELTS academic The Line graph below indicates the standard discharge of Carbon Dioxide for each person in britain, Sweden, Italy and Portugal from 1967 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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