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The first chart about population and second about the birth and death rates

The first chart about population and second about the birth and death rates l77mX
The two bar charts illustrate the population growth as well as the birth and death rates in England and Whales between 1700 and 2000. The population is given in Million while birth and death rates as per 1000. Overall, the population is dramatically increasing over the 400 years. The birth and death rates showed an increase initially but then steadily decreased over a period again. The birth rates are higher than death rates in all the years. The population of England and Whales stood at under 10 million in 1700 but doubled to around 15 million by 1800. By 2000, the figure had reached a high of almost 50 million, almost 5 times of 1700. The birth rate was just under 10 in 1700 but rose to almost the peak of about 18 million by 1800. And then it gradually decreased to almost 11 million by 2000. The death rate also showed a similar trend but was between 5 and 10 per 1000 less than the birth rate at all times.
The two bar charts illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth
as well
as the
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birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in England and Whales between 1700 and 2000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
Use "a Million" or use a number before 'Million'.
Million
while
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birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
as per 1000.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is
dramatically
increasing over the 400 years. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increase
initially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then
steadily
decreased over a period again. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are higher than death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in all the years.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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population
of England and Whales stood at under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1700
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
doubled to around 15
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million
by 1800. By 2000, the figure had reached a high of
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almost
50
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million
,
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almost
5 times of 1700.

The
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10 in 1700
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
the peak of about 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
by 1800. And then it
gradually
decreased to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
by 2000. The death
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rate
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a similar trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was between 5 and 10 per 1000 less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at all times.
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IELTS academic The first chart about population and second about the birth and death rates

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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