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The diagram shows the the site of school in 2004 and the changes in site of school in 2024.

The diagram shows the the site of school in 2004 and the changes in site of school in 2024. 0A7A9
The two pictures compare the layout of school as it was in 2004 and with a proposed site design for the year 2024. It is clear that a new school building will be constructed in 2024 to replace for the old site. Then the school can afford to contain larger number of students. In 2004, there were six hundred pupils attending the school and the two school buildings were separated by path running from the main entrance to the sports field. In 2024, it is expected that there will be thousand children and the building will have been constructed. Furthermore, the plan is to join the two original buildings together, creating a shorter path that links the buildings only. Since the original sports field will be demolished to make way for the construction of the third building and a second car park, a new and smaller sports site will be built to the east of the old building, almost opposite to new building. Finally, no changes will be made to the the entrance and original car park.
The two pictures compare the layout of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as it was in 2004 and with a proposed site design for the year 2024.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will
be constructed
in 2024 to replace for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
site. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can afford to contain larger number of students.

In 2004, there were six hundred pupils attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
were separated
by path running from the main entrance to the sports field. In 2024, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that there will be
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
children and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will have
been constructed
.

Furthermore
, the plan is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the two original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
together, creating a shorter path that links the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Since the original sports field will
be demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for the construction of the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and a second car park, a new and smaller sports site will
be built
to the east of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, almost opposite to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
Finally
, no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
will
be made
to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
entrance and original car park.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the the site of school in 2004 and the changes in site of school in 2024.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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