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The diagram shows the lifecycle of silkworm and the steps involved in the manfacturing of silk cloth.

The diagram shows the lifecycle of silkworm and the steps involved in the manfacturing of silk cloth. Nw7lN
The illustration presents the complete life cycle of the silkworm from moth to cocoon, then thereby stating the stages involved in the manufacturing of silk cloth. Overall, the life cycle of a silkworm is a cyclic natural process involving laying eggs, to cocoon, and emerging back as a moth to continue the process. Whereas, the production of silk cloth is a completely man-made process that involves 6 various phases. The cycle begins with the moth laying eggs, which are then hatched into silkworm larvae in 10 days, that feeds on mulberry leaves. Then, in about 4-6 weeks, the larvae knit their silk thread which furthermore turns into a cocoon in and around a week. Over the period the larvae within the cocoon emerge into a Moth, thereby continuing the whole process again. Next to that, the cocoons are then collected and boiled in water to remove the debris and soften the thread. After that, the boiled cocoons are unwound to threads of 300-900m lengths, which are later twisted and dyed either before or after weaving into fine silk cloths.
The illustration presents the complete life cycle of the silkworm from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moth
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
, then thereby stating the stages involved in the manufacturing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
cloth.

Overall
, the life cycle of a silkworm is a cyclic natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
involving laying eggs, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
, and emerging back as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moth
to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
cloth is a completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
that involves 6 various phases.

The cycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moth
laying eggs, which are then hatched into silkworm larvae in 10 days, that feeds on mulberry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
. Then, in about 4-6 weeks, the larvae knit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
thread which
furthermore
turns into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
in and around a week. Over the period the larvae within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
emerge into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Moth
, thereby continuing the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
again.

Next
to that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoons
are then collected and boiled in water to remove the debris and soften the thread. After that, the boiled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoons
are unwound to threads of 300
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "-900 m"
-900m
lengths, which are later twisted and dyed either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
or after weaving into fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
cloths.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the lifecycle of silkworm and the steps involved in the manfacturing of silk cloth.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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