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The diagram shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories{without children, with 1-2 children and with 3+ children}

The diagram shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories{without children, with 1-2 children and with 3+ children} pRr02
This bar graph illustrates the data of men and women deprived of weekly wages in various categories( without children, with 1-2 children, with 3+ children). The data is measured in hours. Overall, the women are paid more in comparison to men. Also, working hours of females keep on increasing in spite of having more children. On the contrary, the hours of males remain constant. In terms of workers without children, women work 10 hours per week more than men. Moreover, with 3+ children, women hit the highest point. Additionally, the average work of females with 3+ children is found to be double as compare to women without children. Moving further, regarding both workers having 1-2 children, there is a huge difference of 30 hours in their work. In case of each category, married men are working equally same hours, approximately 19 hours per week.
This bar graph illustrates the data of
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men
and
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women
deprived of weekly wages in various categories
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
without
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children
, with 1-2
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children
, with 3+
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children)
. The data
is measured
in
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hours
.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are paid
more
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Also
, working
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hours
of females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of males remain constant. In terms of workers without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
work 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Moreover
, with 3+
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children
,
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women
hit the highest point.
Additionally
, the average work of females with 3+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is found
to be double as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Moving
further
, regarding both workers having 1-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there is a huge difference of 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in their work. In case of each category, married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are working
equally
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, approximately 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week.

IELTS academic The diagram shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories{without children, with 1-2 children and with 3+ children}

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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