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The diagram shows process of manufacturing sugar into sugar cane.

The diagram shows process of manufacturing sugar into sugar cane. 5kxDA
The pictures below illustrate the scheme of processing sugar cane into sugar. Essentially, the whole scheme is divided into 4 stages of the process. The first stage consists of planting and harvesting sugar cane, the second is an extraction of sugar cane juice, then the third includes heating and separating the sugar compounds, and the last is drying and cooling off the sugar In the first stage, one thing to be done is plant the sugar cane and let it grow for approximately 12 to 18 months before it can be harvested. Then in the second stage, the sugar cane that has been harvested is put into a sugarcane crusher machine to obtain sugarcane juice. Soon after that, the liquid is filtered using a limestone filter to get a pure sugarcane liquid. Next in the third stage, the filtered sugarcane liquid is heated using an evaporation machine until it becomes syrup. After that, the syrup is put into a centrifuge machine to separate the sugar crystals from the syrup. Finally, the last stage is drying and cooling the sugar in a large cylindrical container.
The pictures below illustrate the scheme of processing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
into sugar.

Essentially
, the whole scheme
is divided
into 4
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stages
of the process. The
first
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stage
consists of planting and harvesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
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cane
, the second is an extraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
juice, then the third includes heating and separating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
compounds, and the last is drying and cooling off the sugar

In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, one thing to
be done
is plant the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it grow for approximately 12 to 18 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it can
be harvested
. Then in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
that has
been harvested
is put
into a sugarcane crusher machine to obtain sugarcane juice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
after that, the liquid
is filtered
using a limestone filter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a pure sugarcane liquid.

Next
in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the filtered sugarcane liquid
is heated
using an evaporation machine until it becomes syrup. After that, the syrup
is put
into a centrifuge machine to separate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals from the syrup.
Finally
, the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
is drying and cooling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in a large cylindrical container.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows process of manufacturing sugar into sugar cane.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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