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The diagram shows plan of school site in 2004 and 2024

The diagram shows plan of school site in 2004 and 2024 yLLRd
The diagrams illustrates the area of a school sire in 2004 and plan to transform school till 2024. Overall, these will be major change in the new area of school in 2004. School will extend there area. Hence, students count will be increase just under double. Firstly, as one could see in figures there will be a new building, second parking on the opposite side of school. On the other hand, sports field is replaced by third building of school as well as, with new parking area. Therefore, sports field will shift in southern side towards trees. First and third building will connected by small path. Moreover, there will be a new road constructed by the backyard of second building. Some new trees will growned towards north east. Furthermore, there will new path to connect all three buildings with each other. Subsequently, new sports field compare to previous one is almost half size. Some trees will cut down and some will planted again
The diagrams
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
sire in 2004 and plan to transform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
till 2024.
Overall
, these will be major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 2004.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
will extend there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Hence
, students count will be increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under double.
Firstly
, as one could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in figures there will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, second parking on the opposite side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
On the other hand
, sports field
is replaced
by third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as well
as, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Therefore
, sports field will shift in southern side towards trees.
First
and third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "connect"
connected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
path.
Moreover
, there will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
road constructed by the backyard of second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trees will
Possible spelling mistake found.
growned
towards
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north east
.
Furthermore
, there will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
path to connect all three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with each other.
Subsequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sports field compare to previous one is almost half size.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
trees will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will planted
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
again
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IELTS academic The diagram shows plan of school site in 2004 and 2024

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
162 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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