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Recent advancements in technology have made the tv screen so live that people don't feel the need to go for any live performance .

Recent advancements in technology have made the tv screen so live that people don't feel the need to go for any live performance. gqqbA
Nowadays, technology developments impact many things positively. For example, a plethora of people do not want to go to the cinema due to the fact that the image quality of tv monitors had an increase that has 5d. I entirely agree with this idea because many films are known to be movies by people in the home. First of all, many people prefer watching in their home than going to the cinema because of the fact that the development of technology is effects people idea, to other words, people want to watch something their life. Therefore, it impacts the cinema sector negatively since the going number of audiences in cinema has been decreasing for a long time together with developing technology. Although the cinema and theater sectors improve, people want to watch their homes. On the other hand, People don't use much time for art, namely, they movie their homes it's so they have a lot of time to spare themselves. However, it impacts art sectors such as workers of cinema negatively. But, people acquire both time and money as they don't spend cash for tickets, using not much time for going to cinema. In conclusion, technological developments has many advantage points for people. Noverthless it impacts the artest negatively.
Nowadays, technology developments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
positively
.
For example
, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
due to the fact that the image quality of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
monitors had an increase that has 5d. I
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
films
are known
to be movies by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the home.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer watching in their home than going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
the development of technology is effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, to other words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
something their life.
Therefore
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
sector
negatively
since the going number of audiences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
has been decreasing for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together with developing technology.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and theater sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their homes.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for art,
namely
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they movie
their homes it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spare themselves.
However
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
art sectors such as workers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
negatively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
acquire both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money as they don't spend cash for tickets, using not much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
In conclusion
, technological developments has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantage points for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noverthless
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
artest
negatively
.
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IELTS academic Recent advancements in technology have made the tv screen so live that people don't feel the need to go for any live performance.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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