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Comparing 2 charts for computer ownership

Comparing 2 charts for computer ownership yLLDl
The given 2 bar charts aide to understand and the details of computer ownership from the year 2002 to 2010. The first chart is providing the common percentage of ownership deatils without of any classification. The second chart has the classification based on the education levels. Chart 1 has the X cordinent as year from the range between the year 2002 to 2010. The Y cordinant is representing the percentage of ownership. Whereas the Chart 2 has the different X cordinant as it is the Education level of the ownership. The Y axis remains the same. The value of charts represents the years but only of 2002 and 2010. So it is not the range from the 2002 to 2010. Comparing the 2 charts, the chart 1 clearly showing the volume of the ownership and we can't get additioanl details since there no any classifications and extra data parameters. But from the Chart 2, we can clearly udnerstand the group of ownership having the high percentage to having the ownership. based on this understanding, we can target the school level education to encourage the crowd to buy or utilize the computer. This would help to increase the usage of compuer from the high school age and there would be chance of better increment of computer ownership.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
2 bar
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "charts'" or "chart's"?
charts
aide to understand and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 to 2010.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
is providing the common percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
Possible spelling mistake found.
deatils
without of any classification.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second
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chart
has the classification based on the education levels.

Chart 1 has the X
Possible spelling mistake found.
cordinent
as
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year
from the range between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 to 2010. The Y
Possible spelling mistake found.
cordinant
is representing the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
. Whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Chart
2 has the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
X
Possible spelling mistake found.
cordinant
as it is the Education level of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
. The Y axis remains the same. The value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
represents the years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of 2002 and 2010.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not the range from the 2002 to 2010.

Comparing the 2
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charts
, the
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chart
1
clearly
showing the volume of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ownership and
we can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
additioanl
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
since there
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any classifications and extra data parameters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Chart
2, we can
clearly
Possible spelling mistake found.
udnerstand
the group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
having the high percentage to having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
based
on this understanding, we can target the school level education to encourage the crowd to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or utilize the computer. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase the usage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
compuer
from the high school age and there would be chance of better increment of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
.
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IELTS academic Comparing 2 charts for computer ownership

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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