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The diagram is about the crimes committed in Manchester city centre diring 2003 and 2012. Compare and contrast these crimes rates.

The diagram is about the crimes committed in Manchester city centre diring 2003 and 2012. Compare and contrast these crimes rates. ebknK
The given chart demonstrates the three kinds of crimes that was happened in Manchester city centre between 2003 and 2012. Firstly, burglary crimes stood at around 3400 times in 2003 and reached in a peak with nearly 3800 in 2004. Then it declined dramatically to 1000 times in 2008 and it fluctuated around 15000 between 2009 and 2012. Secondly, the car theft started approximately 2300 times in 2003 and it failed gradually to 2000 times in 2006. After that, it grew steadily to 2800 times in 2012. And finally, the robbery crimes made up minimally 500 times in 2003 to 900 in 2005. Then it reduced moderately 500 times again in 2006. The crimes was remained at the started rates from 2007 to 2012 except slightly rise in 2010. Overall, burglary cases were the highest crimes. On the other hand, robbery crimes was the lowest crimes and car theft crimes lied between them.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart demonstrates the three kinds of
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crimes
that
was happened
in Manchester city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
between 2003 and 2012.

Firstly
, burglary
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crimes
stood at around 3400
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times
in 2003 and reached in a peak with
nearly
3800 in 2004. Then it declined
dramatically
to 1000
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times
in 2008 and it fluctuated around 15000 between 2009 and 2012.

Secondly
, the car theft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
approximately 2300
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times
in 2003 and it failed
gradually
to 2000
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times
in 2006. After that, it grew
steadily
to 2800
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times
in 2012.

And
finally
, the robbery
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crimes
made up
minimally
500
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times
in 2003 to 900 in 2005. Then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
moderately
500
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times
again in 2006. The
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crimes
You should probably use: "were".
was
remained at the
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started
rates from 2007 to 2012 except
slightly
rise in 2010.

Overall
, burglary cases were the highest
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crimes
.
On the other hand
, robbery
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crimes
was the lowest
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crimes
and car theft
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crimes
lied between them.
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IELTS academic The diagram is about the crimes committed in Manchester city centre diring 2003 and 2012. Compare and contrast these crimes rates.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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