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The graph and the chart below show the answer people gave about the extent of satisfaction in their lives and waht makes them happiest.

The graph and the chart below show the answer people gave about the extent of satisfaction in their lives and waht makes them happiest. qRJw5
The given combination of line graph and bar chart depicts the information regarding people's responses on the level of their life satisfaction in different ages and what are the components that make them most contented. As is observed in the line graph, both men and women range from 41 to 50 age group are the least happy with their lives with a score of just 5 whereas both genders of 61 to 70 years old are fully contented at the level of 5. 6. But youngsters (15-20 years old) have a different level of satisfaction as boys and girls, as the boys are happier (at5. 5) as compare to the girls (at 5. 3). After twenties the range of happiness decreases gradually up to 50 while after this age a swift incline is noticed. People at 50 to 60 are happier than 41-50 with the score of 5. 2. Moving forward to the bar chart there are two things one is money and other is health which individuals consider to make them happiest. Young boys and girls desire to have more money, in contrast their health with about 55% and 12% respectively. But after this group, the wish for money begins dropping gradually whereas it increases in case of health. People who are 75+ age consider health as their major concern (55%) without worring about money (only 5%). Overall, it is clear that at the starting phase of life one have health and just desires money, on the other hand individuals only want health at last time of life, and this make these people happier. But in the middle, a person wants both at the same time which make him less contented.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
combination of line graph and bar chart depicts the information regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's responses on the level of their life satisfaction in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
and what are the components that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them most contented. As
is observed
in the line graph, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women range from 41 to 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group are the least happy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with a score of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5 whereas both genders of 61 to 70 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are
fully
contented at the level of 5. 6.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
youngsters (15-20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
) have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level of satisfaction as boys and girls, as the boys are happier (at5. 5) as compare to the girls (at 5. 3). After twenties the range of happiness decreases
gradually
up to 50 while after this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
a swift incline
is noticed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
at 50 to 60 are happier than 41-50 with the score of 5. 2. Moving forward to the bar chart there are two things one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and other is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
which individuals consider to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them happiest. Young boys and girls desire to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
in contrast
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
with about 55% and 12%
respectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after this group, the wish for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
dropping
gradually
whereas it increases in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are 75+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as their major concern (55%) without
Possible spelling mistake found.
worring
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%).
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that at the starting phase of life one have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
desires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
on the other hand
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
at last time of life, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
happier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the middle, a person wants both at the same time which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him less contented.
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IELTS academic The graph and the chart below show the answer people gave about the extent of satisfaction in their lives and waht makes them happiest.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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