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The diagram illustrates the sugar making process from sugar cane.

The diagram illustrates the sugar making process from sugar cane. eRP0x
The diagram illustrates the sugar making process from sugar cane. Overall, the sugar canes go through seven stages, includes harvesting, crushing, and centrifuging before turned to sugar. The process begins with growing the sugar canes for one to one and a half years. Then the canes are harvested, either by a machine, which cut and transfer it to a transport bin followed alongside the machine, or manually by a sickle. After that, the harvested canes are broken down and crushed to extract juice in a crusher. The liquid substance goes through a limestone filter to eliminate any impurities before being boiled in an evaporator, thickens it up into a syrup. The sugar crystal are then removed from the crystalized syrup through the centrifuging stage, draw out any remaining moisture. Finally, after the dehydration process, the sugar is cooled, ready to be packed and sold.
The diagram illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
making process from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
cane.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
go through seven stages, includes harvesting, crushing, and centrifuging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
turned to sugar.

The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with growing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
for one to one and a half years. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
are harvested
, either by a machine, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
and transfer it to a transport bin followed alongside the machine, or
manually
by a sickle.

After that, the harvested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
are broken
down and crushed to extract juice in a crusher. The liquid substance goes through a limestone filter to eliminate any impurities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being boiled
in an evaporator, thickens it up into a syrup. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystal are then removed from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
crystalized
syrup through the centrifuging stage, draw out any remaining moisture.
Finally
, after the dehydration process, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is cooled
, ready to
be packed
and sold.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the sugar making process from sugar cane.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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